


Waiting

by zzeacat



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, How Do I Tag, Hurt Merlin, Hurt/Comfort, I Blame Tumblr, My First Fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-11 01:49:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13514235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zzeacat/pseuds/zzeacat
Summary: Merlin was waiting for Arthur but what happens when he can’t take waiting any longer. This is my fist fanfic so be nice please please review I want your help and support if you liked it.





	Waiting

Merlin had waited and waited. After Arthur’s death, Merlin was devastated. For years he had clung to the idea that Arthur would return, but that was getting a bit hard to believe, he had lived through epidemics, wars and so much death. How was that not when Albion’s need was greatest? He thought. Merlin sat inside his favourite café that overlooked the lake where Arthur died. He sat there every day waiting. He also liked this café’ for another reason. The owners were Gwen and Morgana, not the Gwen and Morgana Merlin new but rather reincarnations of them, they were not the only reincarnations Merlin had met but they were the first to share their past selves names. Gwen was as kind and gentle as ever and Morgana in this time had no Uther, or fear to corrupt her, she was as fierce yet loving as when Merlin had first known her. Gwen let Merlin say in their café even though he was rather shabby looking and had no money, Morgana even gave him cups of tea sometimes. The two women had grown fond of this kind old man. Merlin also knew the women pitied him.  
“What are you looking for?”  
“What makes you think I am looking for anything” Gwen just rolled her eyes “you sit here every day looking out that window, you were sitting on that bench outside before we opened this place”, she said gesturing to the bench across the road “you sit here and there is this.... This look in your eyes as if.... As if you desperately need something as if there is something you are waiting for and every day I can see your hope die a little” her voice softened down to a sad whimper as she said those last words. Merlin's eyes had begun to water not only because Gwen’s concern had sounded so familiar yet so wrong because the Gwen he knew was dead. But also because she was right. Merlin looked into Gwen’s eyes giving a quick glance back at Morgana who was standing in the distance listening, “Your observations are very good young lady’ Merlin trailed off in a sigh looking back over at the lake “I lost someone, no the only person .... The only man I ever truly loved over there by that lake” Merlin tentatively looked back at Gwen, she sat down across from him grabbing his hand in comfort “he did not wish to leave me and I did not wish to leave him but it had to be I ... I failed and I lost him”, Merlin's eyes were wet and he tried desperately not to blink but failed to leting his tears fall “he promised me he would come back, here,” he said pointing to the floor, “and I am waiting I have been waiting for a very long time... I just... I miss him and I fear that I am losing my touch, that I will give up on him, that I can’t last much longer, and that I will be gone before he gets here” Merlin was crying heavily now, he had not confided in anyone is so long “Hey ... Hey” Gwen said as she rubbed his back “you still have many years on you and you can be here as long as you need”. Gwen had no idea at the irony of her words but something was changing in Merlin, his faith was dying and he knew he would not be able to live like this for much longer, the centuries have not been kind to him. “This guy must be very special old Merlin here come out the back, you can sleep on the sofa tonight you need it” Morgana smiled as she showed Merlin the back of the place. “I know what it is like to be in love,” she said reaching out and taking Gwen’s hand looking into her eyes. Merlins heart panged both with jealousy that they had found love and confusion, when Merlin had first seen Gwen, in the café, by the lake, he had thought it a sign that Arthur was close, that the universe had put her there to be ready for his return, he had been ecstatic, but also somewhat sad when he came to the realisation that Arthur would be with Gwen again and not him. This realisation that Gwen was not here for Arthur both gave Merlin hope that Arthur could come back and be his, but also fear that this meant Gwen was not the sign he thought her to be.

Merlin slept restlessly that night his hope for Arthurs return crushed and his feelings for the lost prince fresh in his mind. Merlin knew his feelings for Arthur were different even before his death. He had accepted his place by Arthur’s side and that he could never receive the affections from Arthur he desired. It was in his many years after his death that Merlin had decided that this time around he was not willing to be on the sideline. He had met many men like himself men who loved other men and realised that is was not unusual to love no matter who you loved. Throughout the years he had troubles with these feeling, even seeing them persecuted, but behind punished for something you could not control was not new to Merlin. But unlike magic which throughout the years had died out, leaving only wives tales and little acts of magic from those few who were still devout, homosexuality had only risen in Merlin's life. Merlin had seen it come into normality and somewhat accepted leading him to better understand himself and what he wanted for his future with Arthur. Merlin wanted what Gwen had, the privilege she had in her past life, he wanted Arthurs love, he wanted to hold him in his arms and be held and never ever let go again. Merlins sleep was wrecked with loneliness he thought all the horrors of these past centuries had never had a lower night.  
Merlin awoke to the sound of Gwen yelling ... at him “Ahhhhhhh”  
“Oh god Gwen why are you yelling!” he said groggily as he woke up reaching out to her “Who are you!?” she said raising her broom up to him “Excuse me? What do you mean? I am Merlin!” “No you are not Merlin is an old man!”. It was then that Merlin got up, running to the nearest mirror, looking at himself was not the old man he had seen before but rather a young man again “No this is ... this is too soon for this” Merlin's eyes widened, did this mean something! Merlin ran to pick up his coat from the floor to now find Morgana standing beside Gwen both giving him sceptical glances. But he could not control his excitement “Young ladies I am so sorry for scaring you I just.., wow I didn’t expect this regeneration to happen so soon it is usually later and I ... sorry thank you for your kindness, and your tea Morgana” he said speaking so fast they barely caught his words “I have to go, don’t you see this might mean it is time he might be here!” and with that Merlin rushed out the door.  
“You didn’t do this did you, Morgana?” Gwen asked quizzically “Me?! No! Gwen my magic is a spirituality I make herbal remedies, luck spells and the occasional levitating object I can’t make an old man young again”  
“So you think it was him then, it was Merlin”  
“I don’t want to but yeah I do”  
“Well who else would know so much about him and what we do for him I mean he said it means ‘he’ was back, he acted like this had happened before”  
“Yeah and besides what teenage thug would call us young ladies,” Morgana said making air quotes  
“Does this mean what I think it means?”  
“No”  
“Why not Morgana he has the name! And he is waiting here of all places what if he is Merlin!” “Gwen I get it that you did your history major on Arthurian legend, and I thought it was cute that you called it Destiney to find me because my name was Morgana and your Gwen but really”  
"No it makes sense he is waiting for Arthur, it is sad really he has been waiting for so long” Gwen looked out at the lake barely visible through the fog

“I will admit that something is up and I can sense magic in him but I am not convinced on the other bit yet ok” Gwen nodded not taking her eyes of the lake.  
Merlin ran as fast as his feet could carry him which was mast faster now he was young again. Why so soon what this meant would Arthur be there when he got there what is the great need now. Why now? All these questions were running through his head as he reached the lake. As Merlin passed through the fog he saw the lake and his moment of elation passed as he saw it that same as it had been, empty, lifeless. The grin fell from his face and he sat down. Waiting. Again.  
Merlin returned to Gwen’s café that night alone weaker than ever before. Gwen opened the door tentatively for him all Merlin could do was shake his head. Morgana came and sat next to him handing him a cup of tea to warm his cold hands and body. “How did this happen?” she asked gesturing to all of him, “I thought it was a sign it usually takes longer, maybe my maths was wrong” he mumbled not really answering the question “So this has happened before”  
“Yes, every century or so, I suppose it is the magic trying to keep me healthy enough for his return”  
“Who’s return?”  
“Are you the Merlin? Is it Arthur you are waiting for?” Gwen butted in unable to contain her mix of excitement and curiosity “As usual Gwen good observations, I suppose there is no need to hide from you or you Morgana I suppose your magic sensed mine when we met” she nodded amazed at what she was hearing she had never even met another person of magic let alone one this infamous. With a wave of his hand, Merlin shut all the blinds in the store and all the chairs placed upside down on the tables finishing the packing up of the café. “ I suppose you have many questions but please pace them I am tired” the girls nodded excitedly “ So have you been waiting for Arthur all this time alive the whole time just ageing and then being set back to young again and again?” Gwen said leaving into his face as if to inspect it “Yes” he replied swatting her hand from his face “You are pretty good looking for a like super old man” she smirked, even in Merlin's wisdom and miserable state she still managed a small smile and blush from him. “Your magic must be very powerful how do you control it? How did I not sense it when we met?” Morgana asked. Merlin feeling the sadness that he had not been here like this for Morgana and her magic in the past “ Morgana if you have the magic I think you have then you know that magic is not only within you but around you, I do not possess great power within me but rather the great power to control what is already around us, I was born with magic apart of magic. Magic and I are one but I do not own it, I will teach you much when the time is right” Morgana nodded contemplating his words as she slowly stood up “You can stay here again Merlin maybe it is something to do with your Magic but I always felt as if I owed you a favour” Morgana said opening the door to the back of the café again “Thank you again ladies”.  
Merlin slept even more uncomfortable than before "My math must have been off I must have underestimated how long it had been, Arthur is still not here, I don’t know how much longer I can wait for him’ Merlin silently cried himself to sleep. Merlin was proud of himself, he had lasted 3 whole days until he gave up, until he could not take it anymore, it had been too long, the regeneration had been the final straw for him, he could not go through ageing into an old man yet again without Arthur. Merlin stood by the lake gazing out at it like he had for so long and felt anger “WHY Have you forsaken me, you told me he would return when Albion’s need was

greatest but I have seen Albion wither and die! I am all that is left of it! What if my need is greatest! I can’t do this anymore ...” Merlin shouted up into the sky collapsing onto the grass crying “please, I need him” he wisped. Merlin stood up from the ground and looked out at the beautiful lake, it was such a nice day if he wasn’t so hopeless so lost he might have seen its beauty on such a clear sunset but he could see nothing but the pain it brought. He took long strides deeper and deeper into the lake until the water reached his chin, and he let go sinking into its cold embrace.  
Meanwhile on the other side of the lake......  
“Hey Arthur get over here have another beer”  
“Can you hear that Gwaine I think the kid over there is shouting” Arthur had been enjoying a picnic with his friend Gwaine when he heard the distant shouts from across the lake “Yeah I think he is, weirdos man” Gwaine said patting him on the back. Arthur’s logic told him he should just ignore it but he couldn’t take his eyes of the pale dark haired man across the lake, it was if he knew him, he felt drawn to him, but he knew this was ridiculous at this distance he couldn’t even see his face how could he even begin to know if he knew him. “Come over here man just ignore the psycho” Arthur turned to look back at his mildly drunk fried but then felt as he should look back at the man. Arthur’s attention spiked when he saw the man begin to wade out into the water “Dude what are you staring at... oh wow, do you think he is trying to kill himself?” Arthur began to walk towards the figure in the lake as it began to wade further out. “Dude what are you doing?!” Arthur began to panic yet he had no idea why “I can’t let him die!” the figure went under the water and Arthur began to run, he sprinted towards the now drowning figure in the lake. The man did not struggle, he was letting himself sink making Arthur think Gwaine was right this man was trying to end his own life. Arthur dove under wrapping his arms around the figure in the water and pulling him up he lifted the surprisingly light frame out of the water and carried him to the bank of the lake laying him out on the grass. The man was pale very pale with dark hair wet clinging to his sharp cheekbones Arthur could not help himself but think that this man was beautiful. “He isn’t breathing man,” Gwaine said leaning over Arthurs dripping frame. Arthur snapped into action starting chest compressions, but when he got the mouth to mouth something happened. As soon as their skin touched their lips barely grazed each other’s before Arthurs was overwhelmed with memories, Arthur was Arthur again and so were the others. Gwen remembered her life, Morgana hers but with a newfound peace and remorse and Gwaine his. Arthur remembered it all, both who he was now and who he was before a king, and who the man lying unconscious under him was, and what he meant to him. He breathed air into Merlins lungs with new found desperation “come on Merlin don’t die on me now not after all this time living without me!” Gwaine sat down contemplating it all whilst praying Merlins waiting would not be in vain.  
Merlin finally breathed in taking in air and life, his eyes faintly shimmered gold before returning to their vibrant blue as they fluttered open. Arthur smiled down at his manservant, no his friend, tears now streaming down his face “Arthur?” Merlin croaked, his hand reached out to touch his face as if to confirm he was real “Yeah it is me, Merlin, I remember everything, I am back!” Merlin began to cry almost leaping up into Arthurs' arms. “Why did it take you so damn long” he sobbed “I am so sorry Merlin I am, you were right Albion is gone you are all that it left of it and today your need was greatest” Arthur pulled out form their embrace to look into Merlin's eyes

while holding Merlin's face in his hands, wiping tears from his face with his thumbs “I am so sorry you had to wait this long”. Merlin lent forward and did something he had been waiting centuries to finally do.  
He leaned forward and kissed Arthur.  
And Arthur kissed him back.  
“Took you long enough, I mean it literally look centuries” Arthur and Merlin separated laughing at Gawain’s antics. This was certainly a life worth living for.


End file.
